My Journey of Awakening
I spent most of my life trying to live up to other people’s expectations. I didn’t know it at the time but I wanted to be accepted and to be loved, and I was holding on to a belief that I wasn’t enough. So I would do absurd things in an effort to be seen. I would lie to the people I cared about, put others down, drink even though I didn’t like to. I was disrespecting my mind, my body, and my spirit. And because of that, I was giving other people permission to do the same. My heart was in the right place, but I didn’t know how to express what I needed, let alone ask for it. And so I let other people define those needs for me, and I submitted to them.
Waking up out of that illusion has been the most miraculous journey of expansion and growth for me. It wasn’t an overnight process. Oh no, it took many years that felt like it was one step forward and five steps back. There were many breakdowns, too many to count. So many moments where I was curled up in a ball soaking wet in my own tears, feeling so disconnected, alone, and confused. Even now when recalling those memories I get teary because I can still feel how much pain I was in, how scared I was, and how alone I felt.
But with every one of those heart-opening experiences, my determination to change kept growing. And little by little, my faith grew stronger. My trust got deeper. My prayers became more sincere. I began to realize that I had to take responsibility for the life I was unconsciously creating. It was like my senses were getting sharper and I could finally tune in to the different ways that the Universe was subtly trying to get my attention. Slowly, I began to feel less alone. Slowly, I grew stronger. And eventually, I had formed such a powerful connection to that higher force that I was eager to fully commit to my higher path. To my higher self. To my truest Self.
I became obsessed with nurturing that relationship. I decided to do everything I could to connect with her. I was willing and ready to step up and walk the path that Spirit was inviting me onto. I knew that I desperately needed to accept myself, no matter how “not enough” I believed myself to be. Again, it didn’t happen overnight. It took a few nights out to finally decide I didn’t want to conform to the drinking culture anymore. It took a few humbling moments to make the decision to stop eating meat. It took a lot of time to let go of the things I was holding on to that were keeping me small. It took an even longer time for me to see my value and my worth. It took a profound plant medicine ceremony in the jungles of Peru for me to finally accept and claim it.
Learning to love myself by accepting all of who I Am has been the most humbling, expansive, and trembling experience of this life so far. It’s like seeing color for the first time after living in black and white and thinking that that was all there was. Would you go back?
What I have learned throughout these years of contraction and expansion is too much to put into a one page bio, but a key takeaway for me that might apply for you is to trust the process. Something bigger than us is working in our favor to bring us exactly what we deeply desire, which is usually disguised as something less vulnerable, like wanting a million dollars.
My journey has brought me into this space of clarity, awe, curiosity, wonder, compassion, connection, and unconditional acceptance. That initial path was a very important part of the process, because without having lived an illusion, I wouldn’t know truth. Without pain, I wouldn’t know joy. Without having felt alone, I wouldn’t know oneness. And without my journey being exactly the way it was, I wouldn’t be able to help others navigate theirs. I don’t serve to give anyone answers, because I don’t have them. But I do know what it’s like to be alone and afraid. To want something more, to want to feel whole, to feel loved. I know what it’s like when we are separate from Source.
The journey of awakening and remembering is a tumultuous one, but not one we aren’t fully equipped to embark on. We chose to be here. YOU chose to be here. Do you remember? It’s ok if you don’t. I’ll help you translate until you do.
That’s what I am here for. To help you remember.
And my sincerest prayer is that just like you and I, the rest of the world will wake up and remember too.
From my heart to yours, thank you for listening to the call. May it be a journey of bliss, delight, and true remembrance.
Aho
S T U D I E S
Psychology, AFS
Consciousness and Transformative Studies, MA
Neurolinguistic Programming, Coach
Breathwork, Facilitator
Hypnosis, Facilitator
All of the medicine music I share is channeled content induced through meditation, activations, and connection with the Spirit world. Many of the sounds and melodies are inspired by my Teachers, both physical and otherwise, and all of it is an offering from my heart to yours.